After dinner last night, I was using the obligatory toothpick to rid my teeth of excess steak. Midway through, I dropped it. I looked down and couldn't see it, so I stepped to the side, and....the motherfucker, somehow, became embedded in my heel. I'm not kidding when I say almost half of it was now INSIDE my heel. Oww is not a strong enough word to describe the pain. Wait...is oww even a word?
Anyway, I had to pull the motherfucker out super slowly so I didn't get a sliver inside, which hurt like hell too. The puncture was only the size of a toothpick though. Not much blood. Not so bad, right?
WRONG. I can't put any weight on my heel today. I'm walking around like Terry Fox. This fucking sucks. All from a toothpick. A TOOTHPICK!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
25 random things about me
1. I've been to 12 countries, 6 Canadian provinces, 23 US states, and 4 Mexican states.
2. I've also been to airports in Minnesota and Utah, but Jess says I can't count those.
3. One of my legs is a little longer than the other one. It makes standing on the bus a bitch.
4. After all the writing I've done (blog, other crap), finally getting a writing job is tremendously rewarding.
5. I drink enough Old Milwaukee to know that they've had their "71st anniversary can" out for over 3 years now, and are still using it.
6. If I could figure out a way to support myself on the road, I'd never leave it.
7. I know way too much about jiu jitsu.
8. I finish people's sentences all the time, and I'm pretty sure it annoys the shit out of them.
9. I delete facebook friends if their statuses repeatedly annoy me.
10. I kick ass at Jeopardy for money, and Jim refuses to play me.
11. If you're reading this, I can outdrink you. Yes, you.
12. I write down funny stuff on Keno tickets at the pub all the time, and rarely stay sober enough to remember to take them home. Thus, all the funny is lost.
13. I just watched parts 1 and 2 of Che, and they both fucking ruled. Go watch them.
14. After I go to New Zealand in May, my next big trip will be to either Argentina or Japan.
15. I can read the same books over and over again and still find them entertaining.
16. I drink beer at work at least once a week. Sometimes more. And it's okay.
17. I just realized I wrote 11 twice, and had to go back and change the subsequent numbers.
18. People talk to me too much when I'm trying to do stuff. This annoys me.
19. I rarely answer the phone. I probably know it's you calling, but I still don't answer. Don't take offense. I hate the phone, not you. Well, most of you.
20. I probably watch 225-250 NHL hockey games a season. Seriously. And I've been to NHL games in 11 different cities.
21. People that don't know me very well occasionally accuse me of being racist, when I'm usually just tryin to be funny. People that do know me well know better, for the most part. Especially the hindus.
22. My current profile picture makes me laugh every time I look at it.
23. I once got drawn out so bad playing online poker, i ripped my monitor off my desk, walked out onto my patio, and almost chucked it into the neighbours yard. Luckily, I came back to reality about a millisecond before said throw.
24. I hate malls with a passion. I would rather order something online and wait a week for it to come than go to a maill and pick it up right away.
25. I have way too much time on my hands if I have a full time job and a writing job and I fucking wrote all this up.
2. I've also been to airports in Minnesota and Utah, but Jess says I can't count those.
3. One of my legs is a little longer than the other one. It makes standing on the bus a bitch.
4. After all the writing I've done (blog, other crap), finally getting a writing job is tremendously rewarding.
5. I drink enough Old Milwaukee to know that they've had their "71st anniversary can" out for over 3 years now, and are still using it.
6. If I could figure out a way to support myself on the road, I'd never leave it.
7. I know way too much about jiu jitsu.
8. I finish people's sentences all the time, and I'm pretty sure it annoys the shit out of them.
9. I delete facebook friends if their statuses repeatedly annoy me.
10. I kick ass at Jeopardy for money, and Jim refuses to play me.
11. If you're reading this, I can outdrink you. Yes, you.
12. I write down funny stuff on Keno tickets at the pub all the time, and rarely stay sober enough to remember to take them home. Thus, all the funny is lost.
13. I just watched parts 1 and 2 of Che, and they both fucking ruled. Go watch them.
14. After I go to New Zealand in May, my next big trip will be to either Argentina or Japan.
15. I can read the same books over and over again and still find them entertaining.
16. I drink beer at work at least once a week. Sometimes more. And it's okay.
17. I just realized I wrote 11 twice, and had to go back and change the subsequent numbers.
18. People talk to me too much when I'm trying to do stuff. This annoys me.
19. I rarely answer the phone. I probably know it's you calling, but I still don't answer. Don't take offense. I hate the phone, not you. Well, most of you.
20. I probably watch 225-250 NHL hockey games a season. Seriously. And I've been to NHL games in 11 different cities.
21. People that don't know me very well occasionally accuse me of being racist, when I'm usually just tryin to be funny. People that do know me well know better, for the most part. Especially the hindus.
22. My current profile picture makes me laugh every time I look at it.
23. I once got drawn out so bad playing online poker, i ripped my monitor off my desk, walked out onto my patio, and almost chucked it into the neighbours yard. Luckily, I came back to reality about a millisecond before said throw.
24. I hate malls with a passion. I would rather order something online and wait a week for it to come than go to a maill and pick it up right away.
25. I have way too much time on my hands if I have a full time job and a writing job and I fucking wrote all this up.
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