First off, I'd like to point out how shithoused I was when I posted that Luongo thing last night.
What do I have to say about it today. sober?
THE SAME FUCKING THING! WOOOOO!
This kills like, 8 birds with one trade. Everyone knows how much I hate Todd. He'll never be the same player after the Moore incident. Anyone who thinks he still qualifies as a "power forward" needs to study up on the definition of what that term means. It means crashing the net. Hitting hard. Sticking up for your teammates. And SCORING MORE THAN 25 GOALS. Todd wasn't even the best "power forward" on his OWN TEAM. Anson Carter, anyone? Anyways, Todd can go bask in the glow of 37 people coming to see him play in Florida every night. Try not to kill anyone...loser.
Next? Bryan Allen. Glad he's gone. Made too many defensive mistakes, and never turned into the mobile puck moving defenceman the canucks had him pegged as. I realize we needed a big defenceman at the time, but 4th overall for Allen was a joke in 98, and it's a joke now. Granted, it was a weak draft year, but here's 3 players who were taken after him that woulda looked real nice in a Canuck jersey....Alex Tanguay (!) , Simon Gagne, and the guy they SHOULD HAVE DRAFTED, Robyn Regehr. Okay, enough about that Dana Murzyn wannabe.
I won't bag on Alex Auld. He made the best of a tough situation here. I hope he fixes the minor holes in his game, and goes onto to be a solid #1 in the league.
And...AND AND AND...we get to trade....DAN CLOUTIER! YESSSS! Trade him to St Louis, so Niklas Lidstrom has 8 chances a year to score on him from center ice. Never seen that movie before. You're lucky you're not in jail right now, Dan. We all know it was you that ran over that lady downtown in december and killed her. The canucks were on the road. You were the only one in town.
Don't know what I'm talking about? Ask.
And FINALLY, we get the goalie of our dreams. I've been talking about flipping Todd for Luongo for AGES, and my dreams finally came true. Anyone who doubts Luongo, look at his stats. He sees 400-500 more pucks than any other goalie in the league. He played on a HORRIBLE team his whole career. I know Vancouver is the "black hole of goalies", but Luongo will single-handedly change that.
The era of pretenders is over.
LONG LIVE VANCOUVER!
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
YESSS!!!
YESSS!
I got bout 20 words to say:
ROBERTO FUCKING LUONGO. WHO CALLED IT. ME! FOR A YEAR NOW! BYE TODD, YOU SNIVELING PIECE OF NEWLY MINTED GARBAGE. SEE YA ON THE FLIP SIDE. OF YOUR CAREER.
DONT THINK WE'LL MAKE THE PLAYOFFS NEXT YEAR? LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR NEW GOALIE.
YEAH. YOU GET IT NOW.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It was 51 words. Close enough. WOOOO!
I got bout 20 words to say:
ROBERTO FUCKING LUONGO. WHO CALLED IT. ME! FOR A YEAR NOW! BYE TODD, YOU SNIVELING PIECE OF NEWLY MINTED GARBAGE. SEE YA ON THE FLIP SIDE. OF YOUR CAREER.
DONT THINK WE'LL MAKE THE PLAYOFFS NEXT YEAR? LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR NEW GOALIE.
YEAH. YOU GET IT NOW.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It was 51 words. Close enough. WOOOO!
Tuesday, June 6, 2006
Annoyances
And now, Tim's top ten annoyances of the week:
10. My chair at work. It squeaks. I fucking hate it. Maybe if it wasn't having it's weight limit exceeded by a LOT all the time, it might actually work. Squeaky chair....stairmaster...yeah, I thought so. Not much of a decision at all.
9. Poor = no beer. Could explain the bitterness, perhaps?
8. PokerStars' corrupt RnG. At first I thought it was my imagination...but now I realize it's not. The underdog wins a LOT more on Stars. And there's always A LOT of action. Set over set. Guy takes lead on flop, goes behind on turn, and rivers a winner. It's fucking ridiculous. Being an 82 percent favourite means you're supposed to win 82 percent of the time, not less than half! Dipshits. Back to Party for me, ASAP.
7. Trying to find people when I can't pronounce their fucking names. It's not like they're still in the damn country anyways. When you get a file with a cover address in DHAKA, BANGLADESH....what the fuck does that tell you?
6. Roloson getting hurt. There goes a series that had potential to be one of the best ever. Wow, Pronger scored the first cup final penalty shot ever. Idiot Toronto announcers can't remember the last penalty shot in the finals before this? IT WAS PAVEL BURE YOU IGNORANT FUCKS. Yeah, he missed.
5. Why, when I go on tilt, do I decide to play limit, bluff at every hand, and manage to give away more money? I should just stick to drinking. I never give away beer. Ever.
4. Kings getting cracked continually. I can understand going up against AA and losing. Duh. Even AK, AQ, and AJ will have their day. But 9/10? 10J? Pocket 3's? Brutal.
3. Music on = playing poker. DON'T MESSAGE ME 43 TIMES. Enough said.
2. "Shuffle" on Itunes means "Play Nickelback every 3rd song. Oh yeah, gotta meet our Spice Girl quota too". Fuck you, ITunes. Should I program it to play good music? Maybe. Should I delete the Spice Girls songs? Maybe Wannabe...but Say You'll Be There kicks ass....so shut the fuck up.
1. The "nudge" option on MSN Messenger. It should be fucking outlawed. Besides being annoying as fuck, people somehow think if you didn't hear the first annoying ringer, maybe you'll hear the next 6 or 7. Ever consider the fact that the person might be DOING SOMETHING ELSE?
I feel better now.
10. My chair at work. It squeaks. I fucking hate it. Maybe if it wasn't having it's weight limit exceeded by a LOT all the time, it might actually work. Squeaky chair....stairmaster...yeah, I thought so. Not much of a decision at all.
9. Poor = no beer. Could explain the bitterness, perhaps?
8. PokerStars' corrupt RnG. At first I thought it was my imagination...but now I realize it's not. The underdog wins a LOT more on Stars. And there's always A LOT of action. Set over set. Guy takes lead on flop, goes behind on turn, and rivers a winner. It's fucking ridiculous. Being an 82 percent favourite means you're supposed to win 82 percent of the time, not less than half! Dipshits. Back to Party for me, ASAP.
7. Trying to find people when I can't pronounce their fucking names. It's not like they're still in the damn country anyways. When you get a file with a cover address in DHAKA, BANGLADESH....what the fuck does that tell you?
6. Roloson getting hurt. There goes a series that had potential to be one of the best ever. Wow, Pronger scored the first cup final penalty shot ever. Idiot Toronto announcers can't remember the last penalty shot in the finals before this? IT WAS PAVEL BURE YOU IGNORANT FUCKS. Yeah, he missed.
5. Why, when I go on tilt, do I decide to play limit, bluff at every hand, and manage to give away more money? I should just stick to drinking. I never give away beer. Ever.
4. Kings getting cracked continually. I can understand going up against AA and losing. Duh. Even AK, AQ, and AJ will have their day. But 9/10? 10J? Pocket 3's? Brutal.
3. Music on = playing poker. DON'T MESSAGE ME 43 TIMES. Enough said.
2. "Shuffle" on Itunes means "Play Nickelback every 3rd song. Oh yeah, gotta meet our Spice Girl quota too". Fuck you, ITunes. Should I program it to play good music? Maybe. Should I delete the Spice Girls songs? Maybe Wannabe...but Say You'll Be There kicks ass....so shut the fuck up.
1. The "nudge" option on MSN Messenger. It should be fucking outlawed. Besides being annoying as fuck, people somehow think if you didn't hear the first annoying ringer, maybe you'll hear the next 6 or 7. Ever consider the fact that the person might be DOING SOMETHING ELSE?
I feel better now.
Saturday, June 3, 2006
Dear Abby
I feel like an advice columnist today....except for the fact that the people that I've "volunteered" my advice to....well, they're way ahead of me on the "grown-up" scale.
I've tried my best today to be a good friend to everyone. Some people never thought we'd have anything in common....but in fact, we do. A lot. All I can say is, I've been there. I deserved more, and so do you. I might have been as ignorant as the rest of them, till yesterday. But what you had to say really changed my opinion, and I cannot underestimate my respect for laying it all out, where it's open season. You've earned more than my respect. You've earned my support.
The other person I chose to bestow my wisdom upon (yes, that was sacrasm)...well, I hope her family doesn't hate me for telling her the truth about life. I'm almost 28. Am I wise? FUCK NO! I just wanted her, and them, to know my opinion bout things.
I know a lot of people...I know, it's surprising to me too, cuz most of them still talk to me...but from ALL of these people, and my own experiences, I've learned a few facets of life that parents are afraid to admit:
If you're 17-22...most of your parents never went to college/university. If they did, and they are working in the field they went to school for....LISTEN TO THEM. They really get it.
But if they didn't (which is like 85% of you), what the fuck do your parents know about modern education? They didn't fucking go to college! They know what they've been told...that you, as the child...your best chance at a rewarding future is a college education. Fair enough. I agree with that. Higher education is very imporant to your future.
But seriously, how many people can pick a career when they're 16-18? Remember when you graduated? Are you doin now, what you wanted to do then?
My parents saved up to send me to college....and I wasted their money by taking something that never amounted to anything. You think I'm the only one?
Part 2....tomorrow. Tim = tired.
I've tried my best today to be a good friend to everyone. Some people never thought we'd have anything in common....but in fact, we do. A lot. All I can say is, I've been there. I deserved more, and so do you. I might have been as ignorant as the rest of them, till yesterday. But what you had to say really changed my opinion, and I cannot underestimate my respect for laying it all out, where it's open season. You've earned more than my respect. You've earned my support.
The other person I chose to bestow my wisdom upon (yes, that was sacrasm)...well, I hope her family doesn't hate me for telling her the truth about life. I'm almost 28. Am I wise? FUCK NO! I just wanted her, and them, to know my opinion bout things.
I know a lot of people...I know, it's surprising to me too, cuz most of them still talk to me...but from ALL of these people, and my own experiences, I've learned a few facets of life that parents are afraid to admit:
If you're 17-22...most of your parents never went to college/university. If they did, and they are working in the field they went to school for....LISTEN TO THEM. They really get it.
But if they didn't (which is like 85% of you), what the fuck do your parents know about modern education? They didn't fucking go to college! They know what they've been told...that you, as the child...your best chance at a rewarding future is a college education. Fair enough. I agree with that. Higher education is very imporant to your future.
But seriously, how many people can pick a career when they're 16-18? Remember when you graduated? Are you doin now, what you wanted to do then?
My parents saved up to send me to college....and I wasted their money by taking something that never amounted to anything. You think I'm the only one?
Part 2....tomorrow. Tim = tired.
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