So I'm gonna try
and catch up on some older trips, just to get things rolling again. I'm
sitting in a hotel bar in Atlanta right now, trying to drink off the
July 4th hangover I acquired in New Orleans. NO is a great place, by the
way. Once I get through all these, I can write about that. So let's go
back - back through time. To April of last year.
I had a trip planned to China (seriously), flight booked and everything. I was kinda iffy about it though, since the visa looked like it was gonna be a bitch and I already work in in little China as it is. When my homie Mike Daly called me up and inquired whether I'd like to go to Cancun with him, his wife Shannon, and two of their friends, I quickly brushed off the suggestion. I already had a trip to go on. Turns out Air China has a good refund system though, so shit got flipturned upside down and I had Coronas in my new future, not Tsingtaos (and cholera).
I didn't really want to sit in a resort for a week though, and I actually had 12 days off, so I figured I could check out some other places. I decided upon four days at their resort, and six more days checking out the other two Yucatan capitals, Merida and Campeche. I should have probably checked the fucking weather reports before I did that though. Who knew the interior of the Yucatan Peninsula might be kinda warm in April?
Soon came travel day, and I scheduled a night in Phoenix on my way to Cancun, just cuz. It turned out to be an interesting night. The Canucks were playing the Hawks in game five of their first-round series, and I went down to the hotel bar to watch. The bartender had to search for Versus for a while, but he eventually found it. What I suddenly found around me was terrible though - a shitload of people from Chicago. And the Canucks blew that night.
1-0 and 2-0 got cheers from the Windy City faithful. 3-0 too. The 4-0 goal almost made me cry, and actually got some condolences from my newfound "friends". At 5-0 (a few minutes into the second period), a dude actually felt so bad for me that he bought me a shot of tequila "to make the pain go away". The game was terrible for many reasons, but the people were pretty damn cool. i went to bed sad, but oddly content (and shitcanned).
Anyway, it was onto Mexico. Land of the short, home of the lazy. Just kidding Mexicans, I love your country more than you probably do. Once I'm there I never want to leave, and all y'all would do anything to escape.
I met Mikey (my best friend for 29 years, for those that don't know the goof) and his buddy Ray at the front desk, where they greeted me with a beer. The guy who let me out of the shuttle had already greeted me with champagne, so I was double-fisting after approximately 25 seconds at my resort. I was obviously a fan. After dropping my shit off it was drinking time. We met up with the ladies on the beach, drank some beers, ate some dinner, the usual resorty stuff. Normally there wouldn't be a lot to write about at a resort trip, but there were a few humorous moments over the four days that are worth sharing.
First up was Mikey and I getting in trouble. His wife Shanny's awesome and I love her, but she knows what Mikey and I are generally like when we hang out (liquor in face!) and she can usually sniff out our BS pretty quickly. I think she overestimates our intelligence sometimes though!
She sent us off to Ray and Monica's room to return something she had borrowed (I think) before going out for dinner, but we couldn't find their building. You gotta understand, the resort is like 30 three-story buildings set out all over a huge property. They're numbered, but the maps suck. We were admittedly unsober, but we legitimately got lost trying to find their place and didn't come back for a long time, like close to an hour. Turns out the place was like 45 seconds away. Oops.
She obviously suspected that we ran off to the bar and guzzled a bunch of beers before dinner, and told us so, but we were just legitimately lost. She was just about to buy our (true!) story when Mikey accidentally dropped his bottle on the tiled floor of their room, smashing it into a million pieces. Any shred of legitimacy we had smashed with that bottle. We just looked at each other and said the same thing in unison - "Aww crap." You ever tell the truth and still fuck it up? Welcome to the Mike D and Tim B show. It was all laughed off quickly though, as usual.
The next night we all got pretty sloppy drunk (except Monica). Mikey had met a French Canadian kid named Alex before I got there, and he hung out with us in the lobby bar drinking. When he was sober, he made complete sense. But when he was drunk, all the Quebecois came out and he didn't make any sense at all, to any of us. He was hilarious though.
He ordered us a bunch of tequila shots, then had the foresight (?) to see that Ray was way too drunk for tequila...after the shots were already there. As Ray came back to the table, instead of doing his shot or hiding it, Alex panicked and threw it in this big candle thing on the table. The candle responded with a big fiery whoosh, then darkness. Everyone sitting in the area looked over at us. Ray couldn't figure out why we were laughing so hard and probably thought we were laughing at him, but we weren't - it was Alex.
Alex continued to entertain us over the last couple of days. We'd be sitting in the nightclub, shitfaced, and he'd lean over and yell over the music - "Tim, man, you my friends right?" "Sure man, what's up?" "If you my friends, you don't lets me go over dose girls over tere. Dat big one likes me. Promise you keeps me 'way from tem. I'm drunk man!" Then, he'd order shots for everyone at the bar and sneak off over to them while we were drinking. And look back at us with a shrug, like it was inevitable. Between that and Mikey's infamous dance moves, the "nightclub" was an entertaining place to be at night.
My favorite part of the four days was our trip to Tulum. Mikey and Shannon rented a car, and we headed the two hours south down to one of the nicest archaeological sites in Mexico. It was hot as hell but the site is amazing. Gigantic iguanas are just chillin everywhere, and the big temples are on a cliff overlooking an awesome section of the Caribbean Sea. After checking out everything we walked out and around to the beach, which was the nicest I've seen in Mexico thus far.
I'll save my solo travels to Merida and Campeche for another blog, but my time in Cancun with Mikey, Shannon, Ray and Monica (and Alex) was great. I'm not really a resorty kinda guy (which should be pretty obvious by now), but this place was super fun and laid back and I had a really good time. Thanks for inviting me guys!
I had a trip planned to China (seriously), flight booked and everything. I was kinda iffy about it though, since the visa looked like it was gonna be a bitch and I already work in in little China as it is. When my homie Mike Daly called me up and inquired whether I'd like to go to Cancun with him, his wife Shannon, and two of their friends, I quickly brushed off the suggestion. I already had a trip to go on. Turns out Air China has a good refund system though, so shit got flipturned upside down and I had Coronas in my new future, not Tsingtaos (and cholera).
I didn't really want to sit in a resort for a week though, and I actually had 12 days off, so I figured I could check out some other places. I decided upon four days at their resort, and six more days checking out the other two Yucatan capitals, Merida and Campeche. I should have probably checked the fucking weather reports before I did that though. Who knew the interior of the Yucatan Peninsula might be kinda warm in April?
Soon came travel day, and I scheduled a night in Phoenix on my way to Cancun, just cuz. It turned out to be an interesting night. The Canucks were playing the Hawks in game five of their first-round series, and I went down to the hotel bar to watch. The bartender had to search for Versus for a while, but he eventually found it. What I suddenly found around me was terrible though - a shitload of people from Chicago. And the Canucks blew that night.
1-0 and 2-0 got cheers from the Windy City faithful. 3-0 too. The 4-0 goal almost made me cry, and actually got some condolences from my newfound "friends". At 5-0 (a few minutes into the second period), a dude actually felt so bad for me that he bought me a shot of tequila "to make the pain go away". The game was terrible for many reasons, but the people were pretty damn cool. i went to bed sad, but oddly content (and shitcanned).
Anyway, it was onto Mexico. Land of the short, home of the lazy. Just kidding Mexicans, I love your country more than you probably do. Once I'm there I never want to leave, and all y'all would do anything to escape.
I met Mikey (my best friend for 29 years, for those that don't know the goof) and his buddy Ray at the front desk, where they greeted me with a beer. The guy who let me out of the shuttle had already greeted me with champagne, so I was double-fisting after approximately 25 seconds at my resort. I was obviously a fan. After dropping my shit off it was drinking time. We met up with the ladies on the beach, drank some beers, ate some dinner, the usual resorty stuff. Normally there wouldn't be a lot to write about at a resort trip, but there were a few humorous moments over the four days that are worth sharing.
First up was Mikey and I getting in trouble. His wife Shanny's awesome and I love her, but she knows what Mikey and I are generally like when we hang out (liquor in face!) and she can usually sniff out our BS pretty quickly. I think she overestimates our intelligence sometimes though!
She sent us off to Ray and Monica's room to return something she had borrowed (I think) before going out for dinner, but we couldn't find their building. You gotta understand, the resort is like 30 three-story buildings set out all over a huge property. They're numbered, but the maps suck. We were admittedly unsober, but we legitimately got lost trying to find their place and didn't come back for a long time, like close to an hour. Turns out the place was like 45 seconds away. Oops.
She obviously suspected that we ran off to the bar and guzzled a bunch of beers before dinner, and told us so, but we were just legitimately lost. She was just about to buy our (true!) story when Mikey accidentally dropped his bottle on the tiled floor of their room, smashing it into a million pieces. Any shred of legitimacy we had smashed with that bottle. We just looked at each other and said the same thing in unison - "Aww crap." You ever tell the truth and still fuck it up? Welcome to the Mike D and Tim B show. It was all laughed off quickly though, as usual.
The next night we all got pretty sloppy drunk (except Monica). Mikey had met a French Canadian kid named Alex before I got there, and he hung out with us in the lobby bar drinking. When he was sober, he made complete sense. But when he was drunk, all the Quebecois came out and he didn't make any sense at all, to any of us. He was hilarious though.
He ordered us a bunch of tequila shots, then had the foresight (?) to see that Ray was way too drunk for tequila...after the shots were already there. As Ray came back to the table, instead of doing his shot or hiding it, Alex panicked and threw it in this big candle thing on the table. The candle responded with a big fiery whoosh, then darkness. Everyone sitting in the area looked over at us. Ray couldn't figure out why we were laughing so hard and probably thought we were laughing at him, but we weren't - it was Alex.
Alex continued to entertain us over the last couple of days. We'd be sitting in the nightclub, shitfaced, and he'd lean over and yell over the music - "Tim, man, you my friends right?" "Sure man, what's up?" "If you my friends, you don't lets me go over dose girls over tere. Dat big one likes me. Promise you keeps me 'way from tem. I'm drunk man!" Then, he'd order shots for everyone at the bar and sneak off over to them while we were drinking. And look back at us with a shrug, like it was inevitable. Between that and Mikey's infamous dance moves, the "nightclub" was an entertaining place to be at night.
My favorite part of the four days was our trip to Tulum. Mikey and Shannon rented a car, and we headed the two hours south down to one of the nicest archaeological sites in Mexico. It was hot as hell but the site is amazing. Gigantic iguanas are just chillin everywhere, and the big temples are on a cliff overlooking an awesome section of the Caribbean Sea. After checking out everything we walked out and around to the beach, which was the nicest I've seen in Mexico thus far.
I'll save my solo travels to Merida and Campeche for another blog, but my time in Cancun with Mikey, Shannon, Ray and Monica (and Alex) was great. I'm not really a resorty kinda guy (which should be pretty obvious by now), but this place was super fun and laid back and I had a really good time. Thanks for inviting me guys!
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