Bitch's flight didn't arrive till close to midnight, so he didn't end up getting to the hotel until just after 1am. I still wasn't dry from the mother of all rainstorms earlier, but the frosty hotel bar beers were helping me ignore it. 8.50 a beer though...god damn. The bar supposedly closes at midnight, but they stayed open to serve me until Jess got there. The hotel staff was quirky, but generally pretty nice.
So finally, bitch arrives. We took about 3 minutes to drop off his shit and load up our backpacks, and then it was pillaging time! We made our way over to the water, sat down, and cracked the first of many Icelandic beers. We were staying in an area that was fairly busy during the day, but absolutely dead at night. For the first hour that we sat on the rocks down by the water, I think we saw 2 cars total. It was dark, but not for long.
We had walked halfway to town along the Seabraut, but it was obviously dead and getting sort of repetitive, so we decided to double back and go the other way. After a while we came upon this strange structure. It's kind of hard to describe...it was a circular hill, with a building sticking out of the flattened top of the hill. Basically, someone built a hill over a building...or something. Here, a pic should clear it up a bit:
I know, Bitch looks extremely gay in the pic. You get used to it after a while.
So, we decided to climb the thing and sit up there and drink for a while. It wasn't anything really special, it was just...odd. We nicknamed it "The hatch", of Lost fame. If you haven't seen Lost...well, then the reference is lost on you. Pun intended.
Many more beers were consumed as we walked along the water, past more strange structures, a tiny-ass rock beach, and eventually right onto someone's property. There was a house there that amazed the drunks standing in their driveway (us). There were all sorts of carvings and gadgets and statues n shit all over the property. It was extremely odd. Somehow we never clued into the fact that we were basically trespassing and doing laps around someone's house at 3am. We're lucky the Icelandic popo didn't show up...but I don't think their tractors move very quickly, so we had ample getaway time.
After getting our fill of the house (which we labeled the Lost house, even though it has sweet fuck all in common with any house on Lost...go beer!), we wandered even further down the coast until the sun started coming up. In the same place it went down. At 4am. I still have trouble wrapping my head around that, and I saw it happen 3 more times before I left. We took pics and pondered intelligent stuff we had no business talking about with that much booze in us, then the moment stuck. The intellectual highpoint of the entire trip.
Birds!
We came across a big...uh, gaggle? of these weird-looking birds. Geese, but not quite geese. They weren't big enough. They were just standing around in a field, doing what pseudo-geese do, until Jess saw them. Jess has this thing about going fucking berzerk on animals. Don't ask me why. He just does. So, Jess sees them. He doesn't utter one word, he just charges and starts screaming. I know it sounds completely retarded, but I can't do it justice with words. I've seen it a few times already too...but this one was special, because who knows how Icelandic pseudo-geese will react to a chubby drunk berzerker, right?
Well, they ran. And they hissed. And they ran some more. Jess pranced after them, trying to go in 3 directions at once and falling down a bunch of times, until his energy reserves ran out. I fell down too...from laughter. Here are a couple pics of bitch in all his brilliance...
Around 6am, we decided to walk back to the hotel, after watching a HUGE ship go down some fjord and dock. Jess said cruise ship. I said cargo ship. We argued about it all the way back. Oh, and we fell down a lot, and spilled beer all over ourselves. We're classy like that.
What did we do when we got back to the hotel? Drank vodka and energy drinks for many hours until we were way too wired to sit in a tiny hotel room. Around that time, Marissa got to Iceland, but the person she was going to stay with didn't. So she ended up coming over to hang out with us. I don't think she was prepared for two drunken retards, but hey...at least we're entertaining. I started making fun of her about 3 seconds after I met her, and didn't stop until she left. I'm charming like that.
So, the 3 of us wandered downtown. We ended up stopping at a cafe/restaurant thinger called Cafe Paris, which just happened to have the hottest waitress of all time. I'm pretty sure she didn't really enjoy me staring a(nother) hole in her, but I was drunk and couldn't help myself. I'm writing this months later, and I still think she's insanely hot. Not as hot as the flybus ticket girl, but it was close.
After walking around for a while, we headed back down the seabraut to the hotel. Jess did flips on the grass and I threw his shoes into traffic. You know, man stuff. Marissa just looked on at our immaturity with disdain, but that's because she's from Buffalo and nothing fun ever happens there, so she didn't understand what she was witnessing. I think she would have left long ago...if she had anywhere to go.
Now that we had filled our day with Icelandic stuff and killed some time chillin, what was there to do? Drink at the hatch, that's what! We loaded up our backpacks and headed on over, climbed up the hill, and got drunk all over again. They talked nerd for a while, while I rolled down the hill a few times. I know some nerdspeak, but not like these two. They're both extremely fluent (and extremely lame). Whenever I'd get involved and try to steer the convo towards something not so fucking engineery, I'd get ignored while they argued over who has the nicer pocket protector or some shit. I had beer though, so it was all good.
This is the hatch lid:
That's how the polar bear got to the island.
When I finally got them to talk about normal stuff, I'd try to tell Marissa something about myself...and she'd already know it. I guess Jess decided to prepare her for possibly meeting me by doing what he does best...talking. And telling her EVERYTHING about me. I mean, I know I'm not supremely interesting or anything, but have you ever met a stranger and they already know your complete bio? It made for a pretty one-sided convo.
Me - "So, I guess you like the Sabres. I feel sorry for you."
Her - "I know you like the Canucks and you went to the World Juniors with Jess and yelled at Americans and you have been to a lot of other cities to watch hockey and you just got back from New Zealand and you like long quiet walks in the park and your birthday is July 30th and you're left-handed and you make fun of Jim a lot."
Me - "You know Jim?"
Her - "No."
Me - "Uh...I have no idea what to say now. You're chubby*."
*Before you get mad at me for calling a girl chubby, she weighs like 63 pounds. She's not chubby. I just like attaching completely unrealistic qualities to people to amuse myself. Like telling Jim he's smart.
So this went on for..a long time. Booze in face, fall down hill, rinse, repeat. Sun went down again, sun came up again...it was all somewhat routine the 2nd time around. We stagger back to the hotel. It's daytime again. Jess does what he always does when the entertainment stops for 10 seconds...he falls asleep. On the floor.
I try to fall asleep as well. Nyet. Not happening. Vodka/energy drinks + not adjusting to the time zone had Timmy Wide. Fucking. Awake. I watched The Hurt Locker (awesome movie) and tried to stave off the hangover. And fail miserably at it. I was hurtin for certain.
Jess slept until mid-afternoon while I laid there, wide awake, feeling like I was about to die. He got up and went for food and a walk with Chubby, but I couldn't move. Eventually he decided to take a tour out to a gigantic waterfall and Geysir (the geyser that all geysers are named after). I got all prepped to tough it out and go...and my body finally decided it was sleepy time. What the fuck? So, Jess and Marissa went on the 6 hour tour, and I fell asleep. At 4:30pm.
Yes, I know...I completely fucked this trip up to this point. So far I had seen barely any of Reykjavik, despite being there for 3 days. I hadn't gone on the main tour that every visitor takes. I hadn't been to a pub yet. I hadn't been to the main harbor yet. Hell, I hadn't talked to one Icelandic person that wasn't selling me something yet. This definitely wasn't a normal vacation for me. Did it get any better? You'll find out soon enough that it did not.
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