Hockey Trip, Part 3

The last time you heard from the fearless drunken quartet, we were on our way to Columbus. The flight was relatively painless, despite Milo being prettty drunk. Upon arrival in this university town (THE Ohio State), we got seated in our comfy airport shuttle and headed out. About 3 minutes into the trip, Timmy came to 2 realizations:

1. Milo smelled like hot garbage.

2. I left my jacket on the plane.

Shut up. Yes, I left my motherfucking jacket on that motherfucking plane. Yes, I did the same damn thing I made fun of Milo for. And yes, Columbus was cooooold.

After listening to the rest of them laugh at me for the rest of the trip to the hotel, we steered Milo to the counter and managed to check in uneventfully. First up, pub time. Went down to the Arena District, which is really nice...but halfway into my meal/beer in the empty bar, I start feeling like shit. Folks, when I’m unable to finish a beer, something’s seriously wrong with me. I cabbed it back to the hotel, where I...puked. Into the bathtub. A bunch of times. I forgot how unpleasant it was, cuz I haven’t done it in a long time. Normally people feel better after they puke...nope, not me. At first I thought I went too hard over the past few days partying-wise, but it sure didn’t seem like that.

3AM rolls around, and the 3 drunks pile into my room. Apparently the waitress at the empty pub decided to take them all to some bars back on campus (THE Ohio State, remember?), but her boyfriends car was parked in underground lot where no one was manning the front gate anymore. The gate had one of those train-crossing style arm thingers. So what did she do? She drove right through the fucking thing! I wouldn’t have believed it, except Paul had it on tape! She knocked it right off it’s support thinger, with the guys screaming the whole time. Laughing when you’re nauseous is not fun, but I couldn’t stop...it was HILARIOUS. Nothing much eventful happened after that, but what the fuck could top that?

Still felt like shit the next day, but I couldn’t beach myself in bed the whole time...I had to grow a set and go do stuff. I’m sure it didn’t sound fine to the other guys though...I basically spent the whole day being a whiny bitch. Laughing hurt, but Jeff and Milo were hilarious the whole time...Jeff intentionally, Rob...not so much. Milo was only half-ass paying attention to our convos a lot of the time, so he developed a habit of repeating what someone had already said. Example:

Tim - "So how do you think we should get up to campus today?"

Paul - "I think a cab would be the best idea....you agree Jeff?"

Jeff - "Yup, sounds good to me."

2-3 minutes later....

Milo - "Hey guys, I think we should probably take a cab up to the campus...what do you think?"

Jeff and I started imitating him, and I could not stop laughing...I don’t think Milo (or even Paul) found it half as funny as we did, cuz we did it for over a week...but I laughed every single time. If any of you ever come across Jeff Jacobs, ask for his Milo impression. It rules.

Anyways, THE OSU campus is super nice, and huge. We went to a pub (quelle surprise!) , and ended up chatting with the manager lady. She explained the Michigan rivalry, how crazy it gets on campus during gamedays (500,000 people on the streets), and a lot of other stuff. It was pretty interesting. What was more interesting was Jeff informing us he was gonna go puke, doing it, then coming back and continuing on with his beer like nothing happened.

Due to the severe cold and lack of a jacket, I bought an Ohio State hoody and we went to the football stadium. Holy huge, batman. A gate was open, so we walked right inside...place holds 110,000 people. It was incredible. I definitely wanna go back for a Buckeyes game. Speaking of games, we headed back to the hotel and got prepped for...game 2! Canucks/Blue Jackets!

After we went down to the glass and bothered the canucks again (Willie Mitchell laughed at us again), we talked to a cameraman. We asked about getting on TV, so he radio’d in, waited a few seconds, and asked "You were at the St Louis game, weren’t you?"

We’re famous, bitches!

His next question was pretty funny too..."Are you sober?" Two answered yes, 2 answered no. He laughed, and said he’d do his best to get us on. Alas, this didn’t happen. Not yet, anyways.

We lost. I almost puked like 5 times. The civil war cannon they have there is REALLY REALLY loud. We were on the other side of the stadium, and we all jumped everytime they fired the fucking thing. The stadium is super nice. I know NHL hockey isn’t big in this region yet (after telling people we were going to a hockey game that night, they ALL replied "The Buckeyes play tonight?"), but these people have every reason to go. It’s cheap, good hockey, great stadium, and killer party area before/after the game.

Anyways, I still felt like ass post-game, so I walked back to the hotel...turns out we had been taking cabs to the arena district the whole time, and it was only 3 blocks away. Oops. Milo ended up back pretty early too cuz he was feeling like shit...so we watched Grandma’s Boy and had problems sleeping. Joyous.

Next stop, Windy City.

***

Here’s an extra story...I’m throwing it on the end, cuz I don’t remember exactly when it happened...

We get into a cab to go...somewhere. Milo has had a fair amount to drink, and is a pretty talkative guy when he’s had a few. He starts asking the cabbie random questions, till he gets to this gem of an exchange:

Rob - "Where are you from?"

Cabbie - "Nowhere that you want to go."

Rob - "How do you know? I love to travel, I’ll go pretty much anywhere. Except Somalia....NOBODY wants to go to fucking Somalia, that place is a fucking shithole!"

Cabbie - *long pause* "I’m from Somalia."

Paul/Tim/Jeff - "HAAAAHAHAHAHA!"