Alas, it was time to return to Mexico. My flight back was only 90
minutes late, and the Havana departure lounge was totally desolate. I
think there were 20 people on my flight and no other flights leaving
within five hours or so.
The bar was open though, so gooo Havana airport!
Mikey and Shannon were staying in a resort down the Riviera, so it was about an hour to get there via shuttle. I sat up front and the driver was cool, pointing out various weird "only in Mexico" things and laughing at my reactions to them. There were about eight other people in the shuttle too, a couple of families and some older ladies.
Why am I telling you about that? Because drunk Mike Daly introduced himself to every one of them when I got to the resort.
I guess I was two hours late, and he had been waiting at the front for me the whole time with two beers. But then he'd drink those two because he was bored, so he'd go get two more. That happened...a few times. So he was wasted when I got there, and the results were predictably hilarious. After doing a bunch of yelling and hugging and introducing himself to me and the people in the van, I went to check in. And since Daly had been harassing the front desk people for two hours (what else was he gonna do while he waited?), they were very happy to see me just so he'd fuck off!
I ended up with a first-floor room that looked out onto a big pool. I didn't think much of it at first, but this came into play later.
As you can guess, we did a whole lot of drinking the first night. Along with Mikey and Shannon, there was Mike's sister Susan and her boyfriend Dale, along with Shannon's best friend Andrea and her husband Will. Oh, and Mikey/Shannon's two kids and Susan/Dale's baby. Obviously the kids weren't drinking, I'm just doing roll call. Get your head out of the gutter.
It quickly became apparent that the resort was really cool during the day, but sucked at night. It had four bars, three of which closed at like 11. One was open until 1, but it was the one that was indoors. One bar out on the side of the resort was fucking amazing - right on the beach, big waves lapping up, swings and shit - but it was close to a condo building so they had to close early. Lame.
One thing that was pretty funny the first night was some older lady coming up to us at the bar and going "You're Mike! Mike Daly!" The look on Mikey's face was priceless. Turns out that his ex-girlfriend was getting married in the resort that weekend. Yeah, of all the resorts, at all the times...yeah. It was probably awkward for him, but the rest of us thought it was fucking hilarious. Plus the bride-to-be's little sister was kinda hot now that she was 21. Mikey helped her make a valentine when she was nine. Aww. I'm laughing at his reaction to hearing that while I write this. That was fucking funny.
Most of the time during the day, everyone just hung out on the beach. I'd alternate between that and a few of the bars, since the sun is stupid. The staff made it fun there though - this little guy that ran the aerobics shit went by the nick name "Rock Star", and he'd constantly try to convince me to give him one of my football jerseys. He didn't care that he was 4'6 and he could swim in it. He just wanted one. He was fucking funny about it too.
By the end of the second night, everyone was done pretty early. I went back to my room and ordered eight Modelos (they were free!) and sat on my deck. It was pitch black, but I could hear weird noises. Like 'EEE EEE EEE' animal noises. Right beside me. I opened the curtains to my room so some light could shine out on the patio and the pool, and....
There was a dolphin staring at me. Yeah.
He was great. He'd sit there and make dolphin noises at me and I'd talk to him. The Modelos helped with the convo, of course. He just hung out in my end of the pool for a while and chilled. I named him Steve (for the record, I name everyone/thing Steve, I have no idea why). Who else has their own personal dolphin to chill with? It was awesome!
The next night was ladies night, so I hung out on Mikey's patio while he babysat the kids so the girls could go out. We just bullshitted about everything under the sun till 4am, but playing with their kids was a definite highlight. I'm not much of a kid person generally, but I had tons of fun with them. Connor and I had a pillow fight that ended up lasting for two days, while Keira just sat there and laughed and ate cheerios. She never, ever got mad. You could just set up a pillow fort on a bed and give her some cheerios, and she was entertained for hours. It was great.
The final full day had a few highlights. First, we went into Playa del Carmen for a while and hung out. Andrea and Shannon went para-sailing while we sat at the bar and promised them we'd film it. But a combination of beer and distance made it hard to figure out who was who, so they (Mikey/Will)...filmed the wrong people. Which Andrea discovered when she watched the video on the cab ride home. Probably wasn't funny for the ladies, but I thought it was hilarious.
I wasn't laughing when I got back to my room though - there were four maintenance workers in it. I guess a pipe had burst in the bathroom on the floor above and my bathroom had flooded. They fixed it and mopped up the mess, but forgot to replace the soaked toilet paper. That was an adventure later that night.
Finally, there was Steve. I had gone to my room early because I had to be up at 6am to catch my shuttle to the airport, but I still decided to have a beer or two on the patio before I passed out. Things were normal, just a guy and his dolphin chillin...
Until a bunch of people walked up the path and heard me going' EEE EEE EEE!' to a fucking dolphin that decided to fuck with me and not make any noises right around then.
Probably 10 people stood around and burst into hysterical laughter while I just sat there, embarrassed. Yeah. Fuck Mexico. Fuck dolphins.
So, that was Mexico. If Mikey and Shannon go back in 2015, I'll faithfully tag along again. It's always fun.
But seriously, fuck dolphins. They're overrated.
The bar was open though, so gooo Havana airport!
Mikey and Shannon were staying in a resort down the Riviera, so it was about an hour to get there via shuttle. I sat up front and the driver was cool, pointing out various weird "only in Mexico" things and laughing at my reactions to them. There were about eight other people in the shuttle too, a couple of families and some older ladies.
Why am I telling you about that? Because drunk Mike Daly introduced himself to every one of them when I got to the resort.
I guess I was two hours late, and he had been waiting at the front for me the whole time with two beers. But then he'd drink those two because he was bored, so he'd go get two more. That happened...a few times. So he was wasted when I got there, and the results were predictably hilarious. After doing a bunch of yelling and hugging and introducing himself to me and the people in the van, I went to check in. And since Daly had been harassing the front desk people for two hours (what else was he gonna do while he waited?), they were very happy to see me just so he'd fuck off!
I ended up with a first-floor room that looked out onto a big pool. I didn't think much of it at first, but this came into play later.
As you can guess, we did a whole lot of drinking the first night. Along with Mikey and Shannon, there was Mike's sister Susan and her boyfriend Dale, along with Shannon's best friend Andrea and her husband Will. Oh, and Mikey/Shannon's two kids and Susan/Dale's baby. Obviously the kids weren't drinking, I'm just doing roll call. Get your head out of the gutter.
It quickly became apparent that the resort was really cool during the day, but sucked at night. It had four bars, three of which closed at like 11. One was open until 1, but it was the one that was indoors. One bar out on the side of the resort was fucking amazing - right on the beach, big waves lapping up, swings and shit - but it was close to a condo building so they had to close early. Lame.
One thing that was pretty funny the first night was some older lady coming up to us at the bar and going "You're Mike! Mike Daly!" The look on Mikey's face was priceless. Turns out that his ex-girlfriend was getting married in the resort that weekend. Yeah, of all the resorts, at all the times...yeah. It was probably awkward for him, but the rest of us thought it was fucking hilarious. Plus the bride-to-be's little sister was kinda hot now that she was 21. Mikey helped her make a valentine when she was nine. Aww. I'm laughing at his reaction to hearing that while I write this. That was fucking funny.
Most of the time during the day, everyone just hung out on the beach. I'd alternate between that and a few of the bars, since the sun is stupid. The staff made it fun there though - this little guy that ran the aerobics shit went by the nick name "Rock Star", and he'd constantly try to convince me to give him one of my football jerseys. He didn't care that he was 4'6 and he could swim in it. He just wanted one. He was fucking funny about it too.
By the end of the second night, everyone was done pretty early. I went back to my room and ordered eight Modelos (they were free!) and sat on my deck. It was pitch black, but I could hear weird noises. Like 'EEE EEE EEE' animal noises. Right beside me. I opened the curtains to my room so some light could shine out on the patio and the pool, and....
There was a dolphin staring at me. Yeah.
He was great. He'd sit there and make dolphin noises at me and I'd talk to him. The Modelos helped with the convo, of course. He just hung out in my end of the pool for a while and chilled. I named him Steve (for the record, I name everyone/thing Steve, I have no idea why). Who else has their own personal dolphin to chill with? It was awesome!
The next night was ladies night, so I hung out on Mikey's patio while he babysat the kids so the girls could go out. We just bullshitted about everything under the sun till 4am, but playing with their kids was a definite highlight. I'm not much of a kid person generally, but I had tons of fun with them. Connor and I had a pillow fight that ended up lasting for two days, while Keira just sat there and laughed and ate cheerios. She never, ever got mad. You could just set up a pillow fort on a bed and give her some cheerios, and she was entertained for hours. It was great.
The final full day had a few highlights. First, we went into Playa del Carmen for a while and hung out. Andrea and Shannon went para-sailing while we sat at the bar and promised them we'd film it. But a combination of beer and distance made it hard to figure out who was who, so they (Mikey/Will)...filmed the wrong people. Which Andrea discovered when she watched the video on the cab ride home. Probably wasn't funny for the ladies, but I thought it was hilarious.
I wasn't laughing when I got back to my room though - there were four maintenance workers in it. I guess a pipe had burst in the bathroom on the floor above and my bathroom had flooded. They fixed it and mopped up the mess, but forgot to replace the soaked toilet paper. That was an adventure later that night.
Finally, there was Steve. I had gone to my room early because I had to be up at 6am to catch my shuttle to the airport, but I still decided to have a beer or two on the patio before I passed out. Things were normal, just a guy and his dolphin chillin...
Until a bunch of people walked up the path and heard me going' EEE EEE EEE!' to a fucking dolphin that decided to fuck with me and not make any noises right around then.
Probably 10 people stood around and burst into hysterical laughter while I just sat there, embarrassed. Yeah. Fuck Mexico. Fuck dolphins.
So, that was Mexico. If Mikey and Shannon go back in 2015, I'll faithfully tag along again. It's always fun.
But seriously, fuck dolphins. They're overrated.
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