After dinner last night, I was using the obligatory toothpick to rid my teeth of excess steak. Midway through, I dropped it. I looked down and couldn't see it, so I stepped to the side, and....the motherfucker, somehow, became embedded in my heel. I'm not kidding when I say almost half of it was now INSIDE my heel. Oww is not a strong enough word to describe the pain. Wait...is oww even a word?
Anyway, I had to pull the motherfucker out super slowly so I didn't get a sliver inside, which hurt like hell too. The puncture was only the size of a toothpick though. Not much blood. Not so bad, right?
WRONG. I can't put any weight on my heel today. I'm walking around like Terry Fox. This fucking sucks. All from a toothpick. A TOOTHPICK!
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